Herat couple forgo extravagant wedding, donate to the poor instead

A young couple in Herat province chose to forgo a lavish wedding, as is customary in Afghanistan, and instead donated the money to poor families.

The couple said their families had both been in agreement with their decision and together they held a no-frills marriage ceremony.

According to them, they did this in order to help create a culture of healing in society – amid rampant poverty and a collapsing economy.

“When we both thought about the wedding, we both did not feel good; I even cried. I was stressed from the moment I realized I needed to go to Herat to discuss the matter with my father, but I was very stressed and worried that my father and brothers would not agree. But when I got there, fortunately for us, they [my parents] were happy [with the idea],” said Malika Afzali, the bride.

The young couple got engaged four months ago and worked in Kabul for private organizations.

Malika who has an economics degree, and her husband, Ezatullah Samim, is an electronic engineer. Both have been unemployed since the collapse of the previous government.

Samim meanwhile told of the joy their decision brought.

“We had a very good feeling on the day we distributed our aid and when we helped the poor, we really had a great feeling and we really enjoyed those moments,” he said.

Malika’s family is also happy with the decision.

“Instead of booking the hall, beauty shop, and other things and paying exorbitant dowries, it is better for them to do good deeds and this is a good deed,” said Abdul Hamid Afzali, the bride’s father.

“My message to families of brides is to work with the groom’s family in this regard. At the very least, make sure that a couple can start their life without borrowing [money],” said Roullah Arshad, the bride’s brother.

It is common practice among Afghans to take out large loans for extravagant weddings where the guests can number in their hundreds, sometimes even thousands, and the bill can total tens of thousands of dollars.

Small, low-key weddings are unusual in the big cities and instead, celebrations are held in massive wedding halls adorned with bright neon lights.